The Most Important Memory
by Amavi
Summary: Lloyd's final battle with Kratos goes horribly wrong- though he survives, he has lost his memory of the past 17 years. Suddenly the mysterious man everyone hates is the father he most wants to know...
1. Loss

/*

This is how it all got started, I was playing tales at some odd hour of the morning... and I couldn't help but imagine this...

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**Kratos:** "Don't Die, Lloyd!"

**Lloyd:** "Y...yeaah. What's up with that all of a sudden?"

**Kratos:** "Grave!"

*giant rocks fly out of the ground and mortally wound the twin swordsman*

**Me:** ....

"They were never heard from again."

*shakes fist*

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wtf Kratos, seriously?? why were you so hard on my first playthrough?

.

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**Disclaimer:** I don't own Tales of Symphonia... If I did, Kratos would have explained himself before he left!

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Chapter 1 – Loss

The smell of dirt was in his nostrils as he took a running leap toward his father, swords at the ready, intending to make a final stand against his father and against Cruxis. He knew he was doing the right thing, but he wished that things hadn't turned out this way- he dodged a swipe from Kratos and stepped back to regain his footing. Lloyd looked at the formidable opponent in front of him and tried to forget that this was his real Dad, tried to stop thinking of him as family and focus only on what was most important… he heard the man chanting an incantation, and took the opportunity; with the two worlds at stake there was no time for doubt, and he rushed headlong with his swords in front of him, knowing only that in this battle he would do whatever it took to win.

There was a sickening crunch as Kratos dodged his son's blades, and whirled to jab him in the back with his hilt. He shuddered, wondering why Lloyd hadn't seen it coming… why was his son so rash? The boy was never thinking before he moved, and though he had improved tremendously so far, Kratos could still anticipate Lloyd's moves with uncanny clarity. _He should have practiced more before coming here…_ Kratos knew that his son had much more potential than this, but at the same time he wondered if he was expecting too much. He was fighting a seventeen year old boy, after all, and had the advantage of four thousand years' practice...

Lloyd was doubled over, but Kratos was not fooled. The match was far from over. He saw his opponent rise up in a sudden arc across the sky, and blocked a rather strong blow from the left. Perhaps he had underestimated the boy… he spun with a practiced flair, and their swords met for an instant before the older swordsman shoved him back, and prepared to approach from the side. His son was ready for him, and blocked elegantly before jumping over his head and landing a few yards away. It was spectacular, the uncanny strength and determination he saw in Lloyd made his chest swell with pride. Kratos felt the stress on his back muscles, and knew that this battle would soon come to a close, though it seemed like a very close match now since Lloyd was gaining power as they went on fighting. Lloyd stood slowly, his eyes burning brightly- Kratos did not wait for his son to attack, but sped forward and used lightning blade. After he had knocked him to the ground, Kratos took some steps back and began casting his strongest move… he did not look up until he had already yelled the final word, "Grave!" He had not expected to deal Lloyd a direct hit, but now that he was in the thrill of battle he naturally moved in for the kill…

Lloyd felt a pounding in his head after the flash from Kratos' lightning attack, and he wished Raine was here to give him a first aid. He tried to quickly apply a lemon gel, but Kratos had already begun casting another, stronger spell. There were no other options for Lloyd, he had to win above all else, even if it meant killing his own father. He would do everything he could to prevent that, though. And he had Raine standing by in case he went to far… he hadn't expected his old man to be so swift at fighting like this, but he knew he could handle him. After making it this far, he knew that he was invincible, he was the strongest swordsman in the world… he smiled widely, and tensed his legs preparing to spring…

Rocks suddenly jutted up from the ground, and Lloyd felt himself being hurled high into the air. He tried to right himself in the air, but something about the way he was falling felt slightly off. It all happened so suddenly, there was nothing he could do- he fell quickly, landing heavily with his head first. The only thing he knew was that it hurt, it was painful, so terribly strong… he hadn't landed on dirt or grass, but there had been a rock somewhere, and he felt like it had just shoved its way into his brain, though he knew that probably wasn't even possible. He lifted his feet into the air and swung his body, so that he could push off the ground and land on his feet.

He felt dizzy, saw the trees swaying up and down in front of him… he couldn't move without feeling lost. Dazed, he saw his father rushing at him once again and tried to block, but his arms were weak and he was off balance. The force of Kratos' sword knocked him down, and he watched as the sky, the trees, the world…. All of it went slowly black.

"Kratos, stop!"

The small half-elf darted forward, unable to stand by while Lloyd was beaten. He was caught by his collar though, before he had taken even five steps.

"Genis, you can't interfere. It was Lloyd's wish to fight alone. I don't understand this either, but we have to respect his -"

"No! I just can't do this!" the boy waved his hand, slicing the air as if to say that was his final decision. "Hey wait, Raine, what was that spell? Grave? I've never even heard of that…" His eyes widened in amazement at the sheer power of the magic, but his tone quickly changed to one of fear, knowing it was being used against his best friend.

"What if Lloyd gets hurt?" He tried to have faith, but it was so hard to stay still and watch…

"We'll all be right here, so if something happens I can probably heal either of them. It's not our place to interfere… we must wait here until one of them wins."

Genis couldn't take his eyes off the scene, and he was frightened but he wished Lloyd had at least taken him along. How could he possibly do this all by himself? Kratos had been fighting for several lifetimes… he watched closely, not wanting to miss anything, and wondering what Lloyd's next attack would be… seconds passed, and his friend was still nowhere to be seen.

"Oh no, Raine look! He can't get up!"

His older sister became tense, and scanned the battle field. Dust was still rising in a cloud near the center, but she didn't see Lloyd. Then, it dawned on her that he must still be knocked down, because Kratos was standing with his sword raised, preparing to strike…

"Noooooo!" Genis screamed and broke free from his sister's startled grasp. He ran as fast as he could, but he wasn't fast enough. Kratos had his sword raised high, he was going to kill Lloyd if he didn't get up quickly… he looked up however as the small half-elf ran towards him.

Collette and Raine followed closely behind, with the rest of the party right behind them. Something felt terribly wrong, and Lloyd was still nowhere to be seen… the dust finally settled and they saw him curled on the ground, a pool of blood by his head. Finally Kratos realized what had happened, and he lowered his sword slowly- he dropped it at his side and knelt weakly at Lloyd's feet. Raine saw that he was shaking, but she was more concerned with Lloyd- she decided their battle was over and knelt next to her student to take his pulse. Holding his hand in hers, she placed her fingers on his wrist, and it became clear he was still alive. She had guessed it from his level of mana, but she was still worried enough to want a second opinion she could trust. Raine explained this to the group and wasted no time in grasping her staff, chanting the words for her strongest healing spell…

At first, nothing happened. Everyone was deathly silent, except Genis who had been on the verge of tears for a few moments already, and started crying softly.

"Genis, I'm sure everything will be okay." Collette put a hand on her friend's shoulder, though she was just as worried as he was. He knew it, too, and didn't feel much comforted by her words, though he knew she meant well. What was wrong with Lloyd? He wanted to know that his best friend was going to be okay…

Several more moments passed before slowly, Lloyd opened his eyes and let out a huge rattling breath. Kratos looked up suddenly, his face impassive as ever but his eyes wide with hope. Raine tried to assess what state Lloyd's father was in right now, but she couldn't be sure without examining him closer… and considering he was an enemy, she figured it would be better to just leave him alone.

Everyone leaned over Lloyd, and the group sighed with relief. Their hero was awake, and surely he would hop to his feet now, ready to finish the battle he started- nobody was expecting him to cry out, and it took several people by surprise. Sheena yelled out too, obviously startled. Lloyd was looking around himself frantically, his hands and feet drawing inward as he tried to make sense of all the legs… he felt exposed, endangered.

"W-who… are you people?"


	2. Nice to Meet You

/*

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Tales of Symphonia, arguably the best game ever made.

**A/N:** This story is basically an experiment with a "what-if" I had, but it turned into several chapters and there's no end in sight. I want to finish off the story instead of leaving it abruptly, so I hope you like what I have in store! Enjoy!

.

Special thanks to Tanali for letting me know... I spelled Colette's name wrong... =_=

*/

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Chapter 2 – Nice to Meet You

"Whoa, bud, what're you talking about? We're you're pals!" Zelos raised his eyebrows in wonder, not sure if he was falling for some sort of gag or this was just some feeble sort of joke.

"Lloyd! Thank goodness you're okay!" Genis knelt down and leaned in to give Lloyd a big hug.

"H-hey, wait!" he looked very uneasy as the younger boy wrapped his arms around his middle.

"Stop, please… just… what's going on? " He shoved Genis away nervously, and tried to find a break in the circle of people around him. He saw the expressions change around him from relieved and welcoming to something else, and it frightened him. What had they called him? What was that name? Why was the man with blue hair frowning?

He looked around one more time and settled on the face directly across from him; unlike the other faces it seemed almost familiar …

"Lloyd, do you not remember your friends?"

That man was speaking now, the one wearing purple. He had spiky hair, and it was an unusual deep red color… Lloyd found that he liked the sound of that voice more than any of the others he had heard so far.

"Who are you? What's your name?" He wanted to know.

"Lloyd, what is wrong?" The man sat up slowly, and reached toward him with one hand.

"You call me Lloyd, right? What should I call you?"

He felt a million sets of eyes watching him, but at this moment it seemed the man in front of him was his best chance of getting answers.

"I am Kratos."

The woman to Lloyd's side was talking to the others of the group, but he hadn't paid attention to what she was saying. She didn't mind that his attention was now turned on her.

"…amnesia. I have read of certain concussion-induced head traumas, but this type of disorientation should wear off quickly."

Lloyd studied the hand that was reaching toward him, and something compelled him to put his own hand there. He and the purple guy, Kratos, held hands for a moment before the man looked into Lloyd's eyes suddenly, and he felt a sudden sharp pain in the back of his head. He had to shut his eyes, and he yanked his hand away in order to press against his scalp. The boy in red moaned softly- there was a lot of pain. He didn't know what to do…

He felt someone move quickly to his side, and he felt a pair of arms lift him into the air. It would have been kind of fun, if it weren't for his throbbing head.

"Lloyd, listen to me. You are going to be okay."

Lloyd nodded though tears had started leaking from his eyes, and he buried his face in the person's shoulder. For some reason, he felt so ashamed…

"He seems to trust you, Kratos."

"I suppose. But we need to get him to a doctor… there seems to be something more serious that's the problem."

"Resurrection should have worked on him. Revitalize should have restored him fully. I have to agree, I think this is beyond my capability to heal."

"W-wait a minute. Seriously, what's wrong with him? I thought you said it was just some kind of amnesia?" There was a female voice near him, and he sensed in the sound that she was agitated, worried… it scared him. He heard other people talking to the one named Raine, but his head started throbbing too much for him to really follow the conversation. He couldn't help the sounds which escaped from his mouth, they seemed to come of their own accord along with the pain in his head.

Lloyd curled in toward his knees, while still being held in the air- he somehow felt the person holding him was incredibly strong, and he felt protected. The fact that this person knew the others made him feel at ease somehow; he felt that these people were all going to help him. He felt himself beginning to trust them, even though he had yet to actually learn all of their names.

"Lloyd, we're here with you, okay?" It was the boy they called Genis, and Lloyd heard him clearly in the crowd. His words were encouraging, hopeful… Lloyd wished he knew what he was expected to say in return. He felt himself being carried, but the man's stride was very smooth and he felt a cold hand press against the side of his face- it was to prevent his head from moving too much. It felt so nice… what should he say to the man named Kratos?

There seemed to be no words, so Lloyd decided to let it go. His head began pounding with a little less intensity, and he felt his eyelids relax as he took a deep breath. The air caught in his lungs unexpectedly, and he started coughing deeply, his body convulsing slightly with each sound. Kratos held him tighter and said something softly, but Lloyd couldn't make it out, only a vague feeling that the man in purple believed he was going to be okay. Dangling limply in his arms, he really hoped that man was right. It was scary to be so alone among this crowd, and it was scary to be so lost in the world… but Lloyd had a feeling that these people were trying to help him, and he knew there was no way he could currently fight them anyway.

…

"Where are we?" Lloyd whispered, afraid to open his eyes.

"You are in a doctor's office now." Knowing Kratos was nearby made him feel suddenly, inexplicably relieved.

"A… doctor…?"

"Someone who is going to help you. He will take away the pain you feel."

"Pain… ah, okay…" Lloyd felt his heart beat faster, realizing he was sprawled out and completely vulnerable. He tried to move, but felt a hand placed on his chest and a voice asking him to calm down. To not worry. He decided to listen, since he was already at their mercy. He felt himself slipping away, and he was unable to fight it…

…

Somebody touched his fingers, and then clasped his hand tightly. He wondered who it was, and slowly opened his eyes… he turned to get a better look at her. She was a short blonde girl, and he noticed her eyes were red. It made him feel slightly afraid, and somehow guilty… he knew somehow that she was upset because of him.

"I'm sorry."

"L-Lloyd? Can you see me?"

"Of course. You have long blond hair…"

"Ahehe. I'm so glad you're going to be okay!" she smiled brazenly and Lloyd realized this person genuinely cared about him. She was worried about him.

"Wait, why are you apologizing?"

"I'm sorry… for making you worry."

"Oh! It's okay. Do you… remember me?" She looked so excited, but try hard as he may, there seemed to be no name attached to that face. He wondered if he should know her from someplace, but everything was so vague…

"I'm sorry, I… I don't think we've met before."

"Oh, oh okay. My name is Colette, and it's nice to meet you."

"Ah, yeah. Likewise." He tried to smile back, but he wasn't sure if he was doing it right. He hoped the girl wouldn't laugh at him.

"I'm Genis! I'm your best friend!" Lloyd heard a voice but it was coming from beneath him- he realized he was laying down on a table of some sort, and that the person talking must be too short for him to see. He wanted to look over the edge of the table, but someone still had their hand on his chest, preventing him from doing so. He traced the hand backward to its owner with his eyes, and saw a huge blue-haired man standing over him as well.

They exchanged glances, and then in a calm and sophisticated voice, he spoke. "Lloyd, I am Regal Bryant. I hope you will recover quickly…"

"Y-yeah. Me too."

"I am Raine. I'm your teacher."

"Presea. I am also your friend."

"Bud, I really don't think I need to introduce myself, but…" Lloyd turned his head to face the opposite side of the bed, he hadn't realized there were more people standing over there too.

"What's your name?" Lloyd stared up at the orange-haired man… or was it a woman?

"Lloyd, come on, seriously! How could you forget me, the great Zelos Wilder?"

"So, you're name's Zelos. I'll keep it in mind."

"Yeah, you'd better. Now when are you going to stop playing stupid and-" a hand wrapped around his mouth, preventing him from coherently saying anything else.

"My name's Sheena, and as much as I hate to agree with this guy, I think we all hope you are back to your old self really soon."

"My… old self?"

Sheena suddenly clapped a hand to her mouth, and her eyes widened in… fear? Shock? Lloyd became nervous suddenly, and his eyes started to unfocus. He didn't want to die. There was something he had to do first, something important, some reason he had to live… who was his old self? Were there things he was forgetting? He tried to remember, and suddenly his head was throbbing again… it was so painful! And then he remembered the man in purple, the one who had carried him here. Where was he? Where had he been standing? Lloyd opened his eyes again, and tried to sift through the crowd. Where was he? The one person who had seemed familiar… what was his name, again? Lloyd found that he had forgotten the man's name…

"Wh-where is…" his head was really hurting, and it interrupted him. He closed his eyes and tried again. "Where is the other man?"

"What other man?" Raine was leaning close to him, and it made the hair on the back of his neck bristle. He didn't want her right now, he just wanted to see that man… the man in the purple.

"He wore purple, I forget his name… he was here just a moment ago."

He opened his eyes, expecting that person to appear in front of him, but he did not. Lloyd began to worry, he felt scared… where had that person gone? The other people were all exchanging sidelong glances, but nobody said anything.

"You mean Kratos, don't you?"

"Yeah! Yeah, that was his name. Where is he?"

The group suddenly avoided his gaze, and fell silent again.

"Someone tell me!" Lloyd was feeling worried now, he wanted to see Kratos again, wanted to feel safe again. That was the only person he had sort of felt he knew…

"Lloyd, he… he left a little while ago, while you were sleeping." Sheena spoke slowly, and Lloyd realized that their hesitation should have prepared him for hearing this. It didn't.

He felt his face grow extremely hot, and the world became a blur of color. He realized he was crying, that water was falling from his eyes. He felt ashamed, but he didn't know how to control himself… he tried to turn over, turn toward his pillow, but Regal's hand was still preventing him from moving.

"I… I want to… see him… again." It was hard to talk when his throat felt so dry. He didn't know what was wrong with him, and it was frightening. His cheeks felt wet now, and tears trickled from the corners of his eyes.

"I don't think that's possible right now…"

"No, I want him to be here too! I want to see him… I feel like he is the only person I remember…"

"He can't, Lloyd, please calm down. You're being unreasonable. I'm sure-"

"No! No! You don't understand…!" He tried to move Regal's hand, it was constricting him. It was squashing him. He felt unable to even breathe. He started coughing, and couldn't even turn away…

"Someone should get the doctor, he's becoming agitated…"

"Lloyd, hang in there!"

"Calm down!"

"Bud, you need to chill. He's not that important, y'know…?"

_You're wrong. You're wrong… that man, somehow that man in purple is very important to me… _Lloyd squirmed, and kicked, and started sobbing. He felt trapped and confused, and without that man in purple he was terribly afraid. He was lost in the world, and he didn't know what to do.

A new voice came into the picture, and he felt something sharp on his arm. Then, suddenly, everything started fading away…

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**A/N:** So, how do you like it so far? Thanks for all the reviews!


	3. Where is He?

/*

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Tales of Symphonia =(

**A/N: **Sorry but I kind of like vulnerable Lloyd... xD. There are things about his personality that will be different as his new memories and experiences shape him. For example, he has forgotten his childhood so he won't remember Dirk's upbringing, and he will be more true to his inner self (though he hasn't really figured himself out yet, either). He doesn't remember that men don't cry, or that he should be strong in front of others. He is basically a blank slate, with the ability to talk and reason. I am really liking writing this story so far... I get to experiment with Lloyd when he's lost and alone =)

(should I be smiling?? maybe not.. lol)

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Chapter 3 – Where Is He?

"Unnh…. Where am I?" Lloyd rubbed the back of his head, then his eyes. When he opened them, he saw that he was completely alone. Where were all those people from before? Zelos, Raine, Genis, Colette…

"Ah, so you're finally awake." A man in a white vest walked over to him, and Lloyd decided there was no harm in letting him come closer.

"Are you the… doctor?"

"Oh, so you remember me? That's good…"

"Where is everyone?"

"I told them to wait outside, since you seemed to be so frightened of them yesterday. It wasn't good for your health to get all riled up like that."

"I see. Thank you."

"How do you feel?" The doctor was holding a clipboard now, and scribbling something or other onto a page of paper.

"I'm alright. Thanks for helping me out."

The doctor smiled awkwardly and turned toward the door. "I'm going to bring your friends here, so don't go anywhere. They told me to get them from the hotel as soon as you were conscious, so I will be right back."

Lloyd nodded, and stared up at the ceiling. His back felt a little sore, and so did his head… but it wasn't half as bad as before. He was glad those people had brought him here, and glad that Kratos had taken him to this doctor… Kratos, was it? Lloyd couldn't remember where that man had gone, but he had a feeling that he wasn't coming. He wished he could see him again…

The table was fairly uncomfortable, so Lloyd sat up. A blanket fell from his shoulders into his lap, and he tossed it aside. He wasn't sure if he was allowed to get up and walk around, so he scooted over to let his legs dangle off the edge of the table. Looking down at his feet, he saw that they were bare- he was wearing pants, but no shirt, and felt slightly cold. Everything seemed so strange, like it was part of a dream he couldn't quite hold onto. He wondered what was taking his new friends so long.

"Hey Lloyd! Can you hear me?"

Lloyd looked around, but had no idea where the voice was coming from. It was kind of creepy.

"Over here, the window." The voice did not seem to be very cheerful, but it wasn't menacing either. Lloyd stood up off the bed, and went over to the window like it asked. There was a man standing outside, wearing a cape. His arms were crossed, and he was frowning slightly- the wind was colder here and he noticed he man's long blue hair was waving in a ponytail behind him. Luckily the window was mostly shut, but Lloyd was still shivering.

"Want to come inside? There's a door over there." He thought maybe this person would be cold, too.

"No, I can't stay for long. Lloyd, how do you feel?"

"Have we met before, too? I don't know your name…"

"It doesn't matter. Just answer my question."

"Well, okay… I guess I feel fine. Why do you ask?"

"Actually, I am looking for Kratos. Did he tell you where he went, or if he was coming back?"

"N-no…"

"I see. Well, I hope you recover quickly." With that he turned and started walking away. Lloyd felt sorry for the man, and wanted to offer him something to drink, or a place to rest, but all he could do was open the window wider and call out to him before he disappeared.

"Thank you!" Those were the words he had been searching for… he had wanted to say those words to Kratos, too.

"Lloyd, who are you talking to?" It was Genis, he had let himself in the front door and quickly came over to join Lloyd at the window.

"Well, there was a guy standing here a minute ago…"

"A man? Who was he?"

"I don't know. He wouldn't tell me his name, but he knew Kratos… he was looking for him."

"Hmm…"

The rest of the group was inside now, and Lloyd turned to face them. He felt pretty silly for not wearing a shirt, considering everyone else was wearing a lot of clothes. Well, everyone except Regal, who seemed to be fine with most of his stomach exposed.

"Lloyd, how are you feeling today?" Raine stepped forward, and reached out as if to place a hand on his forehead. Lloyd stepped back, and stumbled into a bookshelf.

"Ow."

"Geez Lloyd, watch where you're going. And don't ever turn down a beautiful hunny who wants to touch you!" Zelos called out to him from across the room, a genuinely concerned look on his face. Lloyd wasn't sure what a 'hunny' was, but he wasn't sure he really wanted to know either.

"I take it you still don't remember us…" Raine seemed to be rather worried, and Lloyd regretted stepping away like that. These people had rescued him, after all… what was he doing making them worry so much?

"I'm sorry about that, but I'm feeling much better… thank you all for helping me."

"It is our job as your companions to protect you, and one another." Regal spoke quietly but with a strong and proud voice. It suddenly struck Lloyd that he sounded like he would be a really great father...

"Do you have any kids, Regal?"

"No… why do you ask?"

"Just wondering. You seem so wise and noble, I just thought you would make a great dad." Lloyd smiled brightly, hoping Regal would understand the compliment.

"Well, speaking of fathers, Lloyd…" Sheena piped up, and closed the door behind her. She blushed wildly when she saw that Lloyd was standing around bare-chested, but tried to control herself...

"Oh, don't dredge that up again. He doesn't need to be reminded of _that_…" Zelos grabbed Sheena with the crook of his arm, and stared her down until she started blushing wildly again, for totally different reasons.

"H-hey, he has a right to know!"

"Know what?" Lloyd was curious now… what was she trying to tell him? Did it have to do with his own father? That's right… where were his parents in all of this? Didn't he have any family? None of these people seemed to call him "son" so he was pretty sure none of them were…

"Now look what you've done… he's worried again!" Genis shouted at her angrily.

"Settle down, all of you!" Raine slapped the little boy and glared menacingly at everyone else. Presea stood unblinking at her and then turned toward Lloyd.

"Please, don't be frightened. We're all worried about you, and we show it in different ways."

"Oh, I see." Lloyd didn't really understand fully, but he decided he could go along with that explanation.

"Anyway, where are my parents? I kind of want to see them, or let them know I'm okay, you know… did you tell them what happened to me?"

Nobody spoke, and everyone glared at Sheena. She shifted uncomfortably, and twirled her pink ribbon in her hands.

"Well, did you? Or… do I not have parents?"

All eyes turned to Colette as she took the responsibility for this question.

"Lloyd, it's okay. We just want you to be happy, because we care about you. But since you're worrying I think you should know… your mom, she's… no longer living." she tried to be as nice as possible about it, but even Lloyd understood that there was no right way to deliver that kind of news.

"O-okay. What about my dad then? Is he, too…"

"Well Lloyd, how much do you remember about yesterday?" Colette's voice was soothing, and Lloyd was somehow glad he was hearing this from her. He tried to imagine how they had met before, and wondered what their relationship was… actually, he wondered how he had met all of these people, and come to be traveling with them… because really, it seemed as though they were all equally concerned about him. He felt like they all were watching him, and he wondered how it could be that all of them were so concerned… was he really that important to everyone?

"I remember waking up surrounded by you guys, and… there was a guy in purple who carried me here… then the next thing I knew you were holding my hand, Colette. And then I woke up here, alone."

"Okay. Well, that man in purple, he…"

"Wait, Chosen, should we really be telling him this?" Raine waved her arm in exasperation, and Lloyd was beginning to get irritated.

"Why can't I hear about who my father is? That's really important to me! I won't know who I am if I can't meet my father…"

"Lloyd, I will tell you, but first I want you to know that no matter what happens, you're still you. Don't worry about who your parents are, and don't worry about the things I'm going to say… they have no effect on the person you are right now." Colette took his hand, and squeezed it tightly. He wondered if she was in the habit of holding his hand, or if they usually were even closer…

"Okay. Just please tell me, what were you going to say?"

"Well, remember the man in purple? His name is Kratos, and… he is actually your father."

"Oh, okay. That wasn't so bad, why is everyone so worried about me knowing that?" Lloyd smiled jokingly, but nobody was laughing with him.

"H-hey, what's wrong with my dad? Where is he, anyway?"

"Lloyd, please… don't ask so many questions. You should be resting right now." Raine tried to steer him by his shoulders, toward the bed- he felt her icy hands on his skin and really wished someone had given him a shirt to wear.

"No, wait, I'm not even tired. I just woke up! Why won't anybody just tell me what's going on?" he wrenched himself away from the tall woman and turned to face everyone else. They looked at the ground, at their hands, at the ceiling… nobody spoke.

"Guys, come on! Where is Kratos? Why can't I see my father?"

Silence.

"What happened to him? Where is he right now?"

"Lloyd… he, well… he had to leave." Regal was the one to finally speak up.

"I know that, but why did he go?"

"Well, that is-"

Sheena interrupted him, and wondered if she was the only person here who was able to face their blank-slated friend.

"Lloyd, Kratos left because… we told him he couldn't stay."

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**A/N: **Thanks for reviewing! I love to hear what you think =D


	4. The Man Named Kratos

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**Disclaimer:** I do not own Tales of Symphonia or any of its brilliant characters... if I ever inherited them I would probably die of happiness. xD

**A/N: **Thanks for all your reviews! Sorry it's been so long since last chapter, I was on vacation and didn't have any internet for a week *gasp*! But I'm back now and have a few chapters lined up, so I hope you like what I have in store. =)

And it's probably a lot of dialogue but I think that's the best way to reflect the game and build the characters... it's easier to hear their voices when they're actually speaking, right?

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Chapter 4 – The Man Named Kratos

"W-wait a minute! You mean, you were the ones who sent Dad away? How could you do that? What kind of friends-"

"Lloyd! Lloyd, calm down will you?" Sheena put her hand on his bare shoulder, but he swatted it away. Why was everyone touching his shoulders?! He was sick of it.

"If you've done anything to my dad, I swear I-"

"Look! We didn't know he meant that much to you, alright? I mean, before you lost your memory you… well, um…" she looked around nervously but nobody jumped in to help her. "You guys didn't used to get along, that's all."

"Uh huh, sure… how can you really expect me to believe that? He was the one who carried me here! He was the one who told me everything would be okay…" Lloyd looked around at these people who called themselves his friends, and wondered if his past self would have wanted this. He couldn't imagine sending away his own father...

"Did he really? That's kind of hard to believe…" Zelos scoffed, and Lloyd didn't like it at all.

"Stop it! My Dad didn't do anything wrong! Stop talking about him like he's a bad guy!"

He wondered about his past with Kratos, but at the same time it just didn't matter; no matter what anyone could say he still believed his Dad was still a good person... it was like Colette said! How could stories and words determine who he was supposed to be now? All he had were his memories, and the only thing he knew for sure was that the man he had seen and the man his friends hated seemed like two different people...

"Lloyd, we're not sure how to tell you this, but do you remember how you got injured in the first place?"

That stopped him for a minute, and much as he was beginning to dislike the orange-haired guy Lloyd tried to think back… he found that he had no memory of actually getting hurt, only of waking up in pain.

"I… I don't remember."

"Well, Kratos… your father… he was the one responsible." Regal frowned deeply, and Lloyd flinched at the ugliness of the man's 'angry face'.

"How could that be though? He held me and carried me- it must have been an accident!"

"Lloyd, you have to believe us. You were fighting him in the Torrent forest, and…" Collette had her hands curled into fists, bending her arms at the elbow and waving them up and down for emphasis. It was distracting, and Lloyd thought she looked like she was beating an invisible drum, or something… the heat behind his eyes seemed to bleed away into the frigid air as he watched her and tried to hold back a smile. It was hard to be mad, after looking at her... he sighed heavily and a cloud of breath came from his mouth. He paused for a moment, fascinated- and then he realized there were still things he needed to know.

"So fighting, and then what? What happened?"

"He won."

"Oh. But... why were we fighting? And if we were enemies, why did he save me afterward? It makes no sense…"

"I can see it will take some time to explain everything to you. And I suppose we can't do anything until you've regained your memories…" Raine was pacing now, thinking deeply on all that had to be done.

"Can't do anything? Like what? Am I supposed to be helping you do something?"

Raine sighed deeply, and ran her fingers through her sleek silver hair.

"Why can't you just leave me here and take care of it? I promise I won't go anywhere."

"That's… not possible, Lloyd. You are the only hope we have of reuniting the worlds."

"Re-uniting? What?" Lloyd looked around wildly as everyone nodded silently, like that meant something to them. "Would someone please tell me what the heck is going on?"

"I hate to break it up, but if you're well now could you please have this discussion somewhere else? I need to make room for more patients…" the doctor was speaking from the corner of the room, and everyone was startled to find that he had been there the whole time.

"He needs to make room for more money, more like…" Zelos grumbled just loud enough for the man to hear, and Sheena whacked him with her fist. Lloyd was kind of shocked… she seemed like a surprisingly violent friend to have. She saw how Lloyd's eyes widened at the spectacle and turned around after they had left the office to tell him that she was only mean to people with long, bright orange hair. He smiled awkwardly as Zelos started whining and made a mental note to himself to never, ever dye his hair orange.

He walked with the group, but his mind was spinning wildly- had he really been fighting with Kratos? And Kratos was his father? And he was necessary to these people that he couldn't remember? It seemed to be very complicated…

His friends led him along a snowy avenue toward the front of town, where they invited him into a hotel and began to explain everything that had happened.

"Wait, wait guys. Hold on. Before you get too into this, could I get a shirt? It's freezing…"

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* * *

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Far away in the outskirts of Iselia, wind blew roughly through the trees and mingled with the murmurs of a tall spiky-haired man, kneeling with his eyes closed before a chiseled gray stone. The sun was setting, and he could not remember exactly how long he had been there- his pointed cape waved lightly with each gust and sent his reddish hair skittering gently across his eyelids. He was glad to finally know the resting place of his precious wife, Anna... though he wished he had happier news for her to hear this day. Not that he truly believed in life after death, but the idea that he had someone to talk to... it was almost meditative in a way. He stopped talking and a heavy sigh escaped his lips as he ran a gloved hand through his hair, the tangles coming free easily with a little force. He couldn't feel as strongly as a human; it didn't bother him. The tranquility of this place was enough, and he opened his eyes to take in the last rays of the glowing orange sun.

It was blood-red now, smeared across the sky to the west... the clouds reflected all the guilt he felt, as the tops of pointed trees jabbed upwards into the sky. His arms sagged under the weight of his hands, and his head tilted backward to see more clearly- the breeze ruffled his cape as he stared unblinkingly at the mess above him. The sun was resting on a bed of nails. As he watched, the last light of day slipped into the horizon, and darkness became all that was left. He had never been so moved by the sky as he was in that hour... even the stars seemed to come out reluctantly from hiding. Something so wonderful had become so gruesome... though it wasn't something unfamiliar to him. Kratos shut his eyes tightly and pressed his hands over them, trying to wipe away the things he had just seen. They reminded him of... Lloyd... he saw his son lying on the ground in that elven forest, bleeding into the ground... suddenly he heard a twig crack, and was already standing with his hand on the hilt of Flamberge before he realized he would not need a sword for this battle.

"Yuan, how did you know I would be here?" Kratos sensed the angel's approach and without seeing him, turned away gracefully.

"You always come here when you're brooding. It was the first place I checked."

"I see."

He wished Yuan would leave quickly. He wasn't in the mood for this. He closed his eyes and tried to find peace, but there was none left to be had. After almost killing his only son yesterday…

"I know what's happened, you can talk to me. I saw the whole thing from the sidelines, because I was expecting you to try killing yourself to break the seal… I was planning to stop you from doing that."

"There is no other way, you and I both know that."

"I know- but I wanted to be there when you released the seal."

"I see."

A pause fell between them, and Kratos sighed heavily. He had lived many lifetimes completely alone, but Anna had shown him what it meant to hope; his son was his own mark on the world, and he didn't want to outlive him, much less kill him with his own hands… it was terrifying how fragile humans could be. Fate made this clear again and again…

"Aren't you worried about him? You left without telling him where you were going, he's probably also worried about you right now." The blue-haired angel approached slowly, the forest floor gently crunching beneath his feet.

"I didn't leave because I wanted to, Yuan."

"You didn't?"

"No… they asked me to leave. And I… agreed with their reasons." Kratos was determined not to show weakness so close to the end; he couldn't face his friend right now, after everything that had happened. He wished he had found a more secluded place to go, but he felt as if Anna deserved to know what he had done… if she could really hear him...

"Why are you always like this, Kratos? You never tell people what you're actually thinking, and they always assume the worst. You never set them straight, you just let them keep believing whatever they make up... it's not fair to you."

"…"

The moon shone brightly now that it had risen in the sky; milky white light glittered in Kratos' hair and Yuan watched it dance in the softly blowing strands of red. There was one last favor he owed and this was not going to be easy...

"I went to see Lloyd, this morning. He didn't seem to be in such bad shape."

"You actually talked to him?"

"Yes."

Yuan eyed his friend silently, looking for some hint at what the man was thinking. Surely he was curious about Lloyd's state, surely he wanted to know how his son was doing. Yuan knew this four thousand year old human better than any other living person, but even so he still felt unsure at times, because the man's face was always so separate from the thoughts and feelings he kept inside. He waited for Kratos to take the bait, still wondering why these games of cat and mouse were the only way to make him listen.

"I would rather be alone right now." He murmured, and Yuan was incredulous.

"Don't you want to know what we talked about? Don't you care whether he regained his memories or not?" It was a forced calm.

"Of course I do. You are just trying to get a reaction out of me, and I will not give you one."

"Lloyd didn't remember who I was."

"It's no surprise, I would try to forget you too if I ever got the chance."

"Don't say that with such a serious face!" Yuan blanched at the sad joke, he knew Kratos must be really hurting if he was trying to be funny at a time like this.

"Why not? It doesn't matter what you think, Yuan. I… I almost killed my own son."

"You did what you had to- it was something we had believed in our whole lives. We believed in Mithos for so many hundreds of years… I would have been shocked if you just gave it over to him without a fight."

"You fought my son too, but you didn't kill him."

"Neither did you."

"I know, but… I was so close to doing it. I was so scared that I… that I, again…" he felt his hand shaking, and stopped himself when he realized how much this was affecting him. It was too much… why did humans have to be so fragile?

"But you didn't, Kratos. Lloyd looked just fine when I saw him. I'm sure his memories will come back soon…"

"Don't try to make me feel better, Yuan. I brought this upon myself."

"So you're trying to torture yourself on purpose again?"

Kratos narrowed his eyes and sighed again. He didn't like where this was going- somehow this person knew exactly how to get under his skin, every time. That was partly why he hated him so much. And possibly, partly why he liked him.

"What do you mean by 'again'?"

"You did this when Anna died, too. You blamed it on yourself and sulked for years because you felt like it was your fault."

"Are you stupid? It was entirely my fault! I killed my wife and now, I almost killed my son, too."

"Yes, but it wasn't out of hate that you did these things. You're too hard on yourself."

"You're not critical enough. You just do not understand- you think life is something that can be taken lightly, but that's not-"

"You really believe that is what I think? Then why did I plan to save yours yesterday?"

"Obviously because we have known each other for too long. You would be completely alone without me."

"…that does not bother me. I don't need you. I could kill you anytime." Yuan was pouting now, and his hands were on his hips.

Kratos rolled his eyes and turned to look at him. This was a very old argument, and he knew it was just Yuan's way of saying he cared. Kratos wasn't sure what fate had done, bringing them together, but he knew that this time, there was no place in the world for a failed creature like himself. He'd betrayed his wife, Mithos, and now his son… as soon as he gave this small collection of objects to Dirk for forging the ring of the pact, he would need someplace to go where nobody would ever find him again… he would release the seal on Origin, and finally earn the right to die…

"I know it's not my place to say, but you should see Lloyd again soon."

Kratos was tired of listening to Yuan. He was tired of living with this pain in his back and the aching in his chest which not even miracle gel could cure. It wasn't really there, it was a figment of his mind but it hurt just as much as if it were real…

"Lloyd doesn't remember who he is, Kratos. Don't you see, this is your chance to start over with him. You don't have to abandon him this time!"

"It's none of your business, Yuan. Just go. I've had enough."

"I can't believe you actually want him to hate you. You want him to grow up alone, again…"

"You have no idea what I want."

Yuan looked up suddenly, his eyebrows arching high into his forehead. He didn't know what to say to that. What was Kratos talking about, anymore…?

"I'd appreciate it if you left now, Yuan. You interrupted me while I was talking to my wife."

"Okay then. Come talk to me if you need to, or even if you don't. I'll be in Tethe'alla, at the Renegade base I told you about."

"Goodbye, Yuan." Kratos escorted him out with his voice alone. He made it very clear that he had nothing further he wished to say… and so, slightly downhearted, Yuan left.

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	5. Cold Shoulders

/*

**Disclaimer:** Tales of Symphonia does not belong to me. Only in my dreams.

**A/N:** This chapter was going to be one of the last ones, but I decided to keep going with the story. There is still so much to say, and it doesn't seem like there will be a good ending point anytime soon... the idea is just too big for closure in five chapters. Sorry my updates are so sporadic, but I will definitely keep going with this... and in other news, in the near future I'm going to add some depth to the story other than just Kratos and Lloyd.

Enjoy!

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Chapter 5 – Cold Shoulders

"So… let me get this straight, guys. You're saying that I am supposed to kill my dad so that we can make a pact with a summon spirit, then get some mystical talking sword from him, and hope to Martel that somehow we'll be able to make a ring, so that I can morph our two worlds into one and save everyone from suffering. Am I understanding you right?"

"Well, you have the general idea anyway." Raine was not liking the looks of this… it seemed that Lloyd's memory loss was lasting much longer than she had anticipated.

"And you all expect me to go fight Dad again in the forest…"

"You have to! You have to make a pact with Origin, or we can't wield the eternal sword!" Genis was getting frustrated with him, and he felt bad for taking so long, but this was pretty heavy stuff and it was hard to make sense of everything right away.

"Isn't there some other way to do this, though? To save Kratos, and the worlds?"

"No, Lloyd. He would have told us if he had found an easier way… I'm sure your father does not want to die."

"Well, what makes you think he's still in that forest? Will he be okay with fighting me a second time?"

The group exchanged glances and Lloyd wondered what that meant. Were they keeping secrets from him still? How much was there that he still hadn't been told?

"He was with Cruxis a long time, so I am sure he will still ask for a battle before he surrenders his life." Regal tried to speak cautiously, but Lloyd wasn't much consoled by this. He was still going to have to fight his father…

"Let me just think about this for a while, okay? I need some time, it's hard to make sense of everything right now…"

The group looked a bit worried, but they couldn't well refuse him this. He was their leader, after all… he got up from the table and had Sheena pay the clerk for another night's stay. Then, he went up to his room and sprawled out on the bed, leaving them to discuss matters on their own.

…

"Lloyd."

"Huh? Who's there?" The door was closed and it had become dark outside… he realized he must have fallen asleep. Where was the voice coming from? The second floor window was ajar, but it sounded as though there was someone standing right next to him.

"Lloyd, could I speak to you for a while?"

That voice… Lloyd knew he recognized it. He knew it was familiar, but he just couldn't place it…

"Uh, sure. Come on in." He sat up and rubbed the back of his head- he was startled to find that there was a bump inward and a spot of shaved hair that that resembled a rectangle.

The door opened and he saw a tall man's silhouette; he couldn't be sure, but he had a feeling it was Kratos.

"Dad… is that you?"

"Lloyd… did they tell you about me already? Should I leave…?" Kratos reached for the handle again, prepared to make a hasty exit. He knew he shouldn't have come, Yuan always had the stupidest ideas…

"No! No, please stay. Come over here, and turn on a light if you want."

"I don't want to arouse anyone's suspicion, so would you mind if we kept it dark?"

"Naw, that's fine by me. I'm just glad you came back, I was worried…" Lloyd found it hard to continue, his voice felt closed up and there was a burning sensation behind his eyes again.

"Worried? About what?" Kratos took a seat at the end of his son's bed, and looked over at the boy who was sitting with his shoes on the covers. He still had no sense of manners, at least that hadn't changed…

"I… well, I was… I thought I might never…" Lloyd couldn't find the right words, and he reached up to wipe a tear away before Kratos could see it in the moonlight. "...ah, nevermind." _I thought… that I… I might never see you again._

He quickly regained his composure and a pleasant silence grew between them, though neither knew what else to say.

"How much did they tell you?" Kratos wondered to know where to begin... this wasn't going to be easy.

"I'm not sure. They said that you were the one who… you know… knocked me down. They said we were fighting over Origin's seal… and that we were…"

"That I was trying to kill you, you mean. And yes, that is true."

"I don't believe it, though. Even the fact that you're here now, with me… it wouldn't make sense that you were trying to kill me if you were also trying to save me."

"Where did you get that idea?"

Lloyd saw right through it, this wall his father had built around himself. He sensed the hurt and pain that were in his father's voice, and he wished he could help him somehow…

"Either way, I don't blame you for anything. I trust you, and I'm glad that you're my Dad. Haha, that rhymed…" Lloyd just wanted to lighten the mood, he wasn't expecting for his father to feel worse because of it.

"You shouldn't trust me, Lloyd. After all, I was the one who…" Kratos didn't continue right away, and he sighed heavily.

Lloyd was curious, but didn't press for information. He inched closer to his father, wondering if this was even real. It seemed amazing, that his father could know exactly where to find him. How had he known that they were still in the city? Lloyd put his arm around his dad, and drew him into a hug. It felt so good, to really care about someone, and know who they were…

"Lloyd..."

"Dad, when I woke up I was so worried… I thought I would never see you again, I felt so alone…"

"..."

"And you were the only person I really felt comfortable with, at first. No matter what you think, I still love you. I trust you."

"You shouldn't say things like this, Lloyd. You don't know me…"

"Then tell me, and I can learn… I want to know you again, Dad."

"Lloyd, you can't. I… I just came to make sure you were alright. I didn't come to mislead you, or make you feel obligated to forgive me…" He tried to stand up, but Lloyd was still holding him around his shoulders and he lifted Lloyd into a kneeling position on the bed.

"Dad, come on! Where do you think you're going? You belong here, I need you! You can travel with us, and we'll find a way to do things without sacrificing your life…!"

"Why do you care so much? You don't understand, I…" Kratos felt a swarm of emotion like angry bees and wondered why he had let Yuan talk him into this- it was only making things more difficult than they needed to be. He didn't dare look at his son; he kept staring straight ahead, not seeing anything at all. "Lloyd, did you know… that your mother is dead? …I was the one… who killed her."

"You what?" Lloyd's grip around his father's neck became loose and he tilted his head, trying to understand. He looked curiously at Kratos' ear. Those words didn't seem to sink in. "You… killed Mom?"

"Yes, that is exactly what I said. See, how can you trust me? I am a dishonorable man…" he grasped Lloyd's hands and gently disentangled himself, stepping away into the center of the room. There was a short silence, while Lloyd tried to digest everything he had just heard…

"No, no that's not it at all. See, I think you must have had a really good reason, if you did that. I really can't picture it, but maybe if you stay here with me, and tell me how it happened…" Lloyd climbed off the bed carefully, and walked towards his father who was illuminated by moonlight from the window.

Suddenly, furiously, Kratos turned to look at his son. "Do you understand what it means to _kill_ someone, Lloyd?! I ended her life! I ran her through with my _sword_."

"I lost my memories but I'm not stupid, Dad! You're a good person!"

In his anger, the split of an instant, Kratos drew Flamberge from his belt and pointed it between his son's eyes. "She was _bleeding_, Lloyd, because of this sword and because of my decisions. It was _my_ fault her life was cut short." He was breathing heavily, looking down the serrated blade into his son's quivering face. Soft moonlight betrayed the fear and shock in those red-brown eyes, and Kratos hoped that he had finally said enough. Now he was pointing his sword at the boy, for the second time in as many days... he had never meant to hurt them... he loved his family even if he was never able to tell them that. He lowered his hand slowly and replaced the weapon, the blade sliding with a click into its spot at his side. Even if he was never able to show it properly, he cared more than words could say...

"I... I still trust you, Dad!" Lloyd looked terrified, but his eyes were almost pleading. It was hopeless.

"Lloyd… don't." Kratos turned away, and raised a hand to his face briefly before walking towards the door. _If he stays near me, it will only end up with him dying..._

"Where are you going?! Dad!"

_He will die, right in front of me. It's too hard to fight while protecting someone who loves you. __If I travel with them again, if I fight as his father... I will not be able to serve my purpose... and I will hinder him._  


"I can't stay here. I can't travel with you. I almost killed you yesterday… I don't want that to happen ever again." It was the truth. Lloyd might not like it, but it was for his own good. This was the best thing for him right now, to learn and grow on his own.

"If you come with us we won't have to fight each other, Dad! What you're saying makes no sense at all… augh…"

Lloyd's knees buckled suddenly, and he felt Kratos catch him before he hit the floor. How had his dad moved so fast? That man was incredible… he must have endured so much stress, and pain that nobody else had seen… Lloyd was proud to have such a father. He didn't understand him yet, but he wanted to... he really wanted to. A gloved hand gently rubbed the back of his head, where the scar was… it was kind of painful, but Lloyd didn't say anything. His head was throbbing anyway, and it didn't make too much of a difference.

"You need to rest." Kratos lifted his son and supported him under one arm as they walked back over to the bed.

"I'm scared, Dad. What's happening to me? I don't want you to go…"

"I'm the one who did that to you, Lloyd. It would be wise to-"

"Dad, please. Please…" He grasped his father's hand tightly as he laid down on top of the covers.

"Goodbye, Lloyd."

"No! N-" He felt sick, and he couldn't control himself; he coughed and suddenly threw up. He heard a ringing in his ears, and couldn't understand what his father was saying. Lloyd felt his body shivering too; he was suddenly so cold…

"H-help…" he whispered, desperate in his blindness for something to hold onto… someone he could believe in, someone who would save the hero- someone who wouldn't leave him, ever. He wondered if anyone like that could exist, seeing that even his father would walk out… _or is it the hero's job to always save himself?  
_

_I don't know if I can do this… I'm not the Lloyd they think I am…_

_._

_.  
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**A/N:** Argh it is so painful to write this stuff... Kratos.... _ ! I need to write some comic relief scenes now. For the next chapter, anyway...

Coming up: some character development for a Lloyd without a past. How much of his personality is thanks to Dirk, and growing up on the outskirts of town? How much is still the same no matter what? Are there parts of his personality which were suppressed by the way he grew up? We shall see... I've already made some plans. But in the meantime, let me know what you think! =)


	6. Because They Care

/*

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Tales of Symphonia or its characters. Boo =(

**A/N:** Here is a much more lighthearted chapter, as promised. And also, thanks so much for your reviews! I really like hearing what you think about the chapters =)

Sorry it's been so long since last chapter... I got distracted by Tales of the Abyss and had a mound of work for my summer job. And this chapter was giving me a lot of grief. And then it was suddenly Fall quarter again. And now it's suddenly January. I kept meaning to put up another chapter… but it's been a really, really long time. I'm sorry guys.

THANK YOU SO MUCH to those of you who are going to keep reading and forgive me anyways =D This double-long chapter is all for you!

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On a sidenote...

_**Me:**_ Does anyone else feel bothered by the fact that Lloyd never takes his gloves off? Ever?

_**Kratos:**_ Yes, I at least have finger holes. I've never even held his hand properly...

_**Zelos:**_ Yeah, seriously! He needs to show s'more skin! *walks in with his speedo on*

_**Me:**_ Ew! Put some clothes on!

_**Zelos:**_ Oh, hi hunny! Didn't see you there...

_**Me:**_ Not gonna work on this hunny, Zelos. Out. Now.

_**Zelos:**_ Heey, but I just got here!!

_**Me:**_ You're ruining my time with Kratos, you jerk! He only got to say one line!!

_**Zelos:**_ But you asked the whole audience rhetorically! I have a right to answer!

_**Me:**_ ... s-shut up! You can't use language rules against me!

_**Lloyd:**_ What the heck is going on here? Who is that person? *points at me* And why are you in your speedo again, Zelos?

_**Zelos:**_ Oh, this little thing? It's great, right? We were just talking about changing your costume...

_**Me:**_ Kratos, help me out here!!

*looks around for the handsome man in purple*

Shoot... where did he go?

*/

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Chapter 6 – Because They Care

"Lloyd… Lloyd, can you hear me? Are you alright?" His son had just puked on him, and it smelled awful.

Suddenly he heard a knock on the door, and Colette asking if she could come in. Kratos had forgotten that she also had angelic hearing… he should have been more careful about this. Lloyd didn't seem able to answer, and he wondered if his son could even hear her on the other side of the door. Lloyd was shaking, moaning, and clinging to his hand. The whole spectacle was rather disturbing, and Kratos didn't know what to do. He looked toward the window… yes, it would do nicely. He knew Colette would probably come in at any moment, so he pulled himself free of Lloyd's grip and hurried over to make his escape. It had been a selfish, misguided desire- talking to Lloyd one last time. What had it accomplished? Nothing. In that moment however, as he stood with one foot out the hole, he hesitated. Kratos looked over his shoulder, smelling vomit and blood, and was confused about what he should do. It felt almost wrong to leave. Almost. _I'm such a coward_…

Colette opened the door, and turned on a light. She looked around and saw Kratos half out the window, and Lloyd convulsing on the bed. She gasped and ran over to Kratos, grabbing his cape. "Don't go, Mr. Kratos! You have to help us find out what's wrong with Lloyd…"

"Ugh… huaughh" Lloyd vomited again, and the room started to smell truly revolting. Colette was distracted, and Kratos quickly swatted her hand away. In that instant he finished climbing out the second story window, and took to the air with his shimmering blue wings. As he made his way out of Flanoir, he distinctly felt the vomit on his purple outfit seeping through to his skin, and it felt disgusting… but he could still remember the first time Lloyd had ever thrown up on him… and despite the worry he felt for his son, he almost wanted to smile.

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"Oh no… Lloyd! Lloyd…" Colette went over to her best friend, and tried to shake him by the shoulder. He was twitching an awful lot though, which made it somewhat difficult. She wasn't sure what was wrong with him, but maybe he just had a stomachache? He hadn't eaten very much all day, and she was worried about him. He had gone straight upstairs after lunch and never came down for dinner.

"Are you okay?" she tried to ask him again, but he was still shaking and whispering to himself. She heard a small 'sploosh' and looked down… there was a puddle of barf and she realized she had just stepped in it. Colette felt bad for him and decided to go explain everything to the professor, thinking maybe she would be able to do something for him.

…

"Kratos what?!" Raine wasn't taking the news very well.

"Calm down…. We must go take care of Lloyd." Regal was the ever-sensible one, already halfway down the hall.

"Eww! What is this awful smell, guys?" Zelos was climbing up the stairs, and joined up with Regal, Colette, and Raine as they opened the door to his and Lloyd's room.

"Ugh… disgusting! What are all these… yellowy footprints?" he made a face, and scanned the length of the filthy hallway. He realized as soon as the door was open though, that the smell had come from his own bedroom.

"Lloyd, what the hell?! Why did you do that? In here? This is my bed too, you know…" Zelos was completely ignored however, as everyone else had gone straight to tending Lloyd.

"He's gone into shock. I wonder if it was something Kratos did…" Raine had her staff out, and tried to cast first aid.

"Kratos? His old man was here?" Zelos crossed his arms and leaned against the doorframe.

"Yes, he seemed to have paid Lloyd a visit. Colette saw him as he was leaving." Raine was careful to not make eye contact with Tethe'alla's chosen, and continued her work as if she were talking to the wall.

"Oh. So why is Lloyd throwing up all over the floor?"

"I don't know, but I think it's connected to his head injury… although, it seemed earlier as if Lloyd was recovering just fine."

"What are you implying, my beautiful-"

"Shut it. I'm trying to heal him."

"You don't think his old man would've, you know… abused him in some way, do you?" Zelos was trying to pick out what his favorite Sage sibling was saying.

"I hate to admit it, but we should consider that as a possibility. After all, he wasn't very happy when we told him he had to leave yesterday." Raine trailed off as her thoughts came more quickly and her words became incoherent.

"That is hardly cause to accuse him of abusing his son." Regal had his thumb and forefinger splayed across his chin thoughtfully. "Besides, how would any of us feel after attacking Lloyd? I got the feeling he regretted what he had done… perhaps he just came to apologize."

Zelos snorted. "You have _got_ to be kidding me, Regal. That guy would never feel regret for _anything._ Heck, I'm willing to bet he doesn't feel anything at all!"

"Those are some harsh words, Chosen." Regal looked at the redhead chosen disapprovingly. "Especially since as yet we have no proof toward anything of the sort."

Finally, Lloyd laid still and the room became eerily quiet.

"Lloyd? Are you sleeping?" Colette inched closer to her friend, and tried to crane over him to see if his eyes were open.

"If he was asleep, I don't think he would answer you." Oh how Zelos loved pointing out those little details to her… it always made his day. He loved the way Colette was so non-violent… it was such a nice change from a certain other voluptuous hunny…

"Oh… right." She smiled happily, and giggled. Colette turned back to Lloyd, and started climbing over his legs so that she could get a good look at his face.

"What are you doing…?" Raine was kind of shocked, to say the least.

"I want to see if he's awake or not… ah, he's sleeping professor!"

"Um… okay, good work Colette."

"Thanks, professor!" she sat by Lloyd's feet and smiled widely. Raine stood up and retrieved a spare blanket from the closet, throwing it softly over him and tucking it neatly around his shoulders.

"Watch out for the… you know…" Zelos made a disgusted face and pointed toward the puddles on the floor. Looking closer, it appeared Lloyd had also been coughing up blood.

"Watch out for what?" Colette cocked her head to the side, still smiling.

"Uh… nevermind. I think I'm going to go downstairs and request a different room…" Zelos backed up toward the door, and turned to reach for the handle.

"But we've already paid for all the rooms they have… there's Genis and Regal's room, Me and Sheena are sharing, and then the professor and Presea both have their own. So, that only leaves this room left!" Colette smiled brightly.

"Oh… well, why can't Presea and Raine share a bunk? They're both girls!"

"Uhm… well, I don't think it would be safe."

Zelos crossed his arms huffily. "Why not?"

"Well, I guess because Professor Raine…"

"Colette, you don't have to explain why!" Raine suddenly was blushing furiously.

"Actually, I have also been wondering." The tall blue-haired president decided to join the conversation too.

"Well, I… it's because…"

"It's because the professor has very exciting dreams! And when she wakes up, she's tired from fighting bandits!" Colette was very excited to tell this story and she bounced on the bed while she spoke, but Regal and Zelos were still very confused.

Raine bit her lip, clutching her staff in both hands. She seemed slightly angry. "I have been told that I kick while I'm sleeping… and, sometimes I can be slightly groggy in the morning. But I have no objections to sharing…"

"You look so adorable when you blush like that, hunny! Adorable super-cool beauty!"

Regal cringed. "That is not wise-"

Raine stepped forward and slapped Zelos across the face. "I changed my mind, I don't feel like sharing! I refuse to do you any favors. And besides, Lloyd didn't actually get anything on the bed, it's just on the floor. If you're so concerned, clean it yourself!" she stormed out angrily clenching her staff, and didn't look back. They heard her stomping down the hall, and her door closed with a slam. Downstairs, Presea sneezed and continued working on a little wooden doll, hoping that nobody would come down and see it half-finished.

"I believe it is time for me to retire as well, so please excuse me." Regal stepped over to the door, and fiddled with the knob for a minute before excusing himself.

"I don't suppose she would let me stay in her room, either…" Zelos counted with his fingers. Then, out of options, he glanced up at the blonde with sad, hurt eyes. "Why are you hunnies always so unpredictable?"

"Ehehe. Well, I don't mind trading if you want, Zelos."

Then there was a long, awkward silence. Colette played with a strand of her hair as she continued to sit at the foot of Lloyd's bed.

"…whoa, whoa. Are you serious, Colette?"

"Sure!" she smiled innocently; her eyebrows arched into little rainbows. "I mean, Sheena's already asleep but you have known her for a long time right? I don't think she would mind."

Zelos stared at her in disbelief, but quickly regained his composure.

"Oh. Well, I won't argue with that. But I have to say, I had no idea you… you were, uh…" for perhaps the first time in his life, he was at a loss for words. "Anyway, thanks Colette!" He sped off with little hearts in his eyes, practically skipping out of the room.

"Wow… Zelos seems so happy! I'm glad." She smiled happily to herself, and laid back on Lloyd's bed with her hands beneath her head. He was breathing normally now, and she looked over at his sleeping face.

"He seems… pale. And his face is wet, I wonder if he was upset, or if it was from his stomach-ache…" Colette reached for Lloyd's hand, which was tucked in towards his chest. She turned on her side, and scooted so that her she was at his eye-level. Then she began taking off his red glove and laced her fingers with Lloyd's, rubbing the back of his hand every so often to let him know she was there. She wondered if he was having a nice dream, and realized again how thankful she was to have traveled with him. Because of his friendship and the things he'd done, she was still alive. And, she was able to dream again, too…

Colette yawned sleepily and released Lloyd's hand, looking up at the plain ceiling and wondering if Mr. Kratos would know what to do for him. Eventually she sat up, but instead of turning off the light she decided to clean the floor first. She found some towels in the bathroom and went from there, using water and soap as necessary. It took her an hour to do the job right, and when she was finally done, she piled everything in the shower and went at long last to turn off the light. When she was walking back to the bed though she tripped on a rug, landing right on top of her brown-haired friend.

"Oh no! Are you… okay… Lloyd?" she was extremely tired now that the lights were off, and she had barely finished crawling over him before she yawned and fell fast asleep.

…

* * *

"Yiiiieeeee!" A terrible shriek rang out just as the sun was beginning to rise. Colette heard it very distinctly, because ever since her angel transformation process had begun she had retained her improved hearing. It sounded like Sheena, but Colette found she was too tired to move.

"What the hell, stupid Chosen?!?" It was definitely Sheena yelling… she heard them arguing in the next room and wondered if they were going to be okay…

Lloyd was beginning to stir, and she realized vaguely that her legs were still on top of him. In her zombie-like state Colette tried to move and give him more space, but was not very successful. She tried to lift herself out of bed, pressing her hands into the soft mattress. Then she flopped down, instantly asleep once more, with her head resting peacefully on Lloyd's shoulder.

Opening his eyes, the first thing Lloyd saw was a huge sleepy face looming directly above his own. Lloyd felt so surprised; it took a full moment before he could think clearly. Someone was half-on-top of him now, and he felt her weight pressing him down into something soft. He felt her hand on top of his hand, and saw her bright yellow hair when he turned his head just right. Lloyd tried to make sense of this, but he felt trapped, and scared. His heart started racing, and even though he knew who she was, he also was fairly sure she didn't belong here! Lloyd panicked, turning his head from side to side and trying to figure out what to do…

Suddenly the door flew open, and Sheena was fuming. "What the hell, Zelos, I told you I know you're ly-…ing?" She looked over at Colette and Lloyd, and put a hand to her mouth before stepping back outside and slamming the door. Her face turned almost purple, and as much as Zelos tried to ask her to step aside, she refused to let him in. No matter how much he begged and pleaded, she was completely unable to say what she had seen, either. Sheena found that she was having trouble getting her mouth to work. Somehow, she felt like crying… but she knew it was probably because of the shock, more than anything else.

Lloyd was wide awake now, and he felt a slight wetness near his eyes. Reaching up with his free hand, he wiped it away and tried to take a deep breath. Every second that ticked by felt like an eternity. What was the blonde haired girl doing here like this? And who had just tried to come in the room? Had he fallen asleep in the middle of… something… important? He tried to remember, but it just made his head start pounding again.

"Hey, could you… uh…" He winced at his headache, but reached out with his right hand to touch her head gently. _What was her name again?_ Lloyd shut his eyes tightly, trying to remember. Resting his hand on her long hair, he took a deep breath. "Colette?"

She didn't answer. He knew that was her name, though. He remembered her from yesterday. He listened to her breathing, and tried to hold his breath so that he could breathe in and out at the same time together. Maybe she was asleep? He wasn't sure how that was possible, but she was breathing regularly and though he tried talking to her again she wouldn't answer. Thinking back, somehow he knew that this was normal. This was okay. He couldn't remember why or where he had learned, but this was called sleep and it was normal. Feeling slightly better, he decided it was safe to move her. Freeing his other hand and holding her closer, he tried to slowly roll her off to the side without waking her, though he paused for a moment and was slightly shocked to find that the cloth on his left hand was missing. _My glove,_ he thought. The word suddenly appeared in his mind. _Glove, glove. Where is my glove?_

"What were we doing… last night?" he whispered to himself, because he knew nobody could hear him. That question kept reappearing in his mind, and he couldn't shake it. Colette being here felt important, somehow. He finished moving her, and laid her head gently back down on the mattress. Lloyd was sitting up, and towered over her now that he had rolled her over, and he looked down at her sleeping face. He shivered, and clutched at his chest worriedly. _What is wrong with me now?!_

Lloyd looked away quickly, and was distracted when he noticed that the window was open- that would explain why it was so cold in the room. Looking back at Colette, he realized she had been sleeping on top of the covers, and touched her arm lightly- it was freezing cold. Gently, he took the half of the blankets which he had been using and started wrapping them around her instead, doing his best to not wake her. Somehow, this brought back the shivering thing but in his chest this time, and when he was done he felt paralyzed for a moment, just looking over at her sleeping there next to him and hardly daring to breathe. Lloyd grunted wearily, and pressed a firm hand against the left side of his chest. He took a few deep breaths, and as he cautiously looked over again he saw her head resting against the mattress, and her tousled hair spread unevenly across her forehead… a smile crept onto his face, and Lloyd hastily clambered off the bed, his heart pounding wildly again.

"What… what the hell is wrong… with me?" Lloyd whispered to himself as he stood in the middle of the room, and didn't dare look back.

.

.

* * *

**A/N:** The glove being off means it was the end of the world! 0_o ...Juust kidding. Sorry for anyone who doesn't like Colette, I just wanted to throw her in here and stuff just... happened. On its own. I swear it wasn't me... well okay, maybe it was. Blame it on Zelos.

And so begins the amnesia-love _experiment._ Fruity, eh? With torture. And humor. And stupidity... because I wouldn't be able to go on with the story if I was just torturing Kratos the whole time. I just *heart* him too darn much! Dx

Anyway, I think you'll like what I have in store... please R&R~!


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